Doing Our Best (p.1)
Sometimes life wakes us up and forces us to look around and see the world through a new lens. Though it typically happens in an unpleasant way, I still feel thankful for the opportunity to reevaluate my life and mindset.
Back in December, I needed a perspective change. My husband and I knew our life wasn’t healthy, but honestly, we didn’t feel we had a choice but to keep moving forward. Life had us in what felt like a never-ending whirlwind, and we were in a complete survival mood. Then my whole world almost shattered, and man that woke me up.
Though I don’t feel comfortable sharing my world-shattering event, it’s such an important part of our story because it gave me the perspective needed to be willing to take a step back.
Last year was a long year for us. My husband and I were both working full-time, we had visited the doctor one too many times, and we financially felt the burden from all the medical bills that came with that. But the reality was that Raella was not doing well, and doctors weren’t giving us the help we needed.
Raella’s First Symptoms
The first symptom we noticed was in January of last year after we gave Raella whole milk for the first time. We told her doctor, and she recommended we give her non-dairy milk and reintroduce regular milk after 6 months.
Between January and June, we noticed her bowels didn’t seem “normal”, so her doctor recommended a probiotic which resulted in inconsistent bowels. We weren’t sure what to think of it, and she seemed mostly okay, so we just ensured she got lots of good greens, prunes, and apples.
Becoming Concerned
As June approached, I noticed a behavior change in Raella. At first, I thought she was hitting the “terrible two stage.” She was irritable, grumpy, and started throwing tantrums when I took her in public. She wasn’t her normal happy self.
Being a first-time mom, I thought this behavior was normal. But then, I started noticing she smelt funny. And she also had gotten this diaper rash that wasn’t going away with our diaper balm which always did the trick. Then she got a low-grade fever that lasted for more than 24hrs. It was then we decided it was time to see her doctor. Though it was a Thursday at 3PM, the office was closed, so we talked with a nurse over the phone. We told her the few symptoms we noticed, and she was concerned it could be a UTI and urged us to take her to urgent care within the next couple of hours.
Getting Sidetracked
Urgent care sent us home with a bag to collect a urine sample and a prescription for antibiotics. After MANY failed attempts to collect a urine sample, they said there was nothing they could do and told us to follow up with her doctor.
Her doctor wasn’t available, but we got to see another doctor in the office. It had been a week since the fever, and she seemed to be doing better. The doctor was great and explained what signs to look for in a UTI, and I walked out feeling reassured that Raella was okay for now.
About 1 1/2 weeks later, Raella again had a low-grade fever. And as the day went on, she became hysterical, crying out in pain. After a few hours of trying to comfort her, my husband and I looked at each other concerned. By this time, she was lying on our bed with her face into our pillow crying as she seemed to be holding her stomach.
It was a Saturday, so our options were urgent care or the ER. Knowing urgent care couldn’t do anything for us since we were just there, we did as our doctor instructed if symptoms worsened. We took her to the ER.
Looking back, I fully regret that decision. But up to this point, no urine test had been done, so we didn’t know if she had a UTI or what was causing the symptoms. We didn’t know what else to do.
Making all the Mistakes
The ER visit was a complete disaster. The doctor made it clear we were wasting his time and asked if we wanted to give her a covid test since he had no explanation for her condition. We pushed for more to be done, but after 4hrs and being told by the nurse that the doctor is too busy helping other patients who need more attention. We called it a night. The worst part was walking out and seeing the doctor just sitting in his office…😔
Symptoms Intensifying
Unfortunately, the symptoms persisted. The following weekend she woke up screaming in the middle of the night. We still had no idea what was wrong. There was no fever this time either, but she smelt and had that diaper rash again.
After three long nights of her getting little to no sleep, we made another appointment. Thankfully her primary doctor was available.
We went into the office exhausted and desperate for answers. We hadn’t seen her doctor since all of this had begun, so we were hoping to finally get real help from someone who knows Raella.
After trying hard to explain what we had been noticing, her doctor said, “it could be a combination of a lot of things.” and recommended a butt cream. At that moment, I am not going to lie. I wanted to SCREAM. It had been weeks since Raella had been experiencing these symptoms, and whatever was causing it seemed to be getting worse.
She had mentioned we could again track what she eats. At the moment, that didn’t feel helpful either. Earlier in the year, she made the same recommendation when Raella was struggling with her bowel movements. After providing her with a detailed food diary, she told us her diet looked great and recommended a probiotic.
I pleaded with the doctor, explaining that something isn’t right. Up to that point, I felt I had kept my cool, but I was tired of being looked at like I was making this stuff up.
She finally agreed to run a few tests, one of which was a stomach x-ray.
After the visit, I realized doctors aren’t going to help us figure this out, so I began brainstorming. At this point we knew it wasn’t a UTI, so now I could get that out of my head and focus on what else could be causing this.
Putting the Pieces Together
The one thing that immediately came to mind was dairy. When we introduced milk to Raella, as I had mentioned earlier, we noticed her bowels changed, and she became very constipated. Though she had been consuming almond milk, we had recently tried reintroducing regular milk, and she was still eating other dairy products(cheese, yogurt, etc.)
When the nurse called about the x-ray results, she said Raella’s stomach was very backed-up(constipated), but everything else looked normal. I went on to ask if being lactose intolerance could cause the symptoms she had been experiencing. Immediately she said yes, and recommended we take dairy out of her diet for a month to see if the symptoms improved.
After a few weeks, we noticed a huge improvement. We once again had a happy, non-smelly Raella with no diaper rash! I wish I had remembered that nurses name because her small piece of advice made all the difference.❤️
I wish I could tell you that was the end of our long year, but unfortunately, she didn’t stay healthy for long, and for me, that’s when the rollercoaster really began.
